After 51 years of an eerily Dutch existence, I am breaking up with distilled spirits. Dutch in that there were weeks where I could swear my last name was "Vanabeer". As in "Hi, Harry, Want a beer?" I am breaking up with distilled spirits because they finally almost conquered me, after one or two weeks of a particularly nasty Polar Vortex. A foot of white fluffy Angels molt had accumulated on the half a rugby field of acerage I kept clear at my septagenarian folks place when I lived there last year. A maze of shoulder-wide paths, parking spaces and driveway and "Did you clear a path to the mailbox yet, I need my mail?". "He needs 10 yards on both sides of the box to get in."
The angels wings moved really easily, I was getting into a wonderful "Hello Steam Engine!" kind of working rhythm there too for a while. You know the vibe, when you are zen breathing and body parts move in synchronization with no wasted effort and the work just disappears.... A physical low-impact ballet that the hangover I was fighting stood no chance against the pure power of. I had been experimenting in low rent knockout tonics. The latest concoction was called Strong Wine. It was the last half of a frozen 5 litre box of table red and with a half bottle if some cheap brandy poured into a hole in the top when I discovered my winebax was half ice cube. Strong wine was truly almost a lethal concoction, if we are telling the truth. The first time it tried to kill me was on this clear, perfectt sub zero day with the shovel and the piles of angels wings.
I was sitting by the Franklin stove heating up and drying off with my second or third pint glass of Strong Wine. Alcohol historian that I am, I recalled reading that Porter beer was brewed strong so the guys that worked on the railroad all day could drink it for lunch and keep working. Those we the TRUE GLORY DAYS of the USA, before those damnable German Nazi womans group HEIDI's ruined drinking for us all. Housewives Eschewing Inebriates Drunks and Idiots was the radical feminist offshoot off another mothers group, and they were very radical and violent. It got so a self respecting drunk could not be sure that some crazed woman ninja on a ten-speed was not at this very moment jumping off her bike and onto his back for a quick choke out and then some truly nasty shit when he was unconscious in the van. Some truly horriffic shit. These HEIDIS were led by the reclusive Jane Smith, founding member of Anonymus, a renegade tennis pro and cannibis rights activist who has not been seen in public since the late 90's, but
The angels wings moved really easily, I was getting into a wonderful "Hello Steam Engine!" kind of working rhythm there too for a while. You know the vibe, when you are zen breathing and body parts move in synchronization with no wasted effort and the work just disappears.... A physical low-impact ballet that the hangover I was fighting stood no chance against the pure power of. I had been experimenting in low rent knockout tonics. The latest concoction was called Strong Wine. It was the last half of a frozen 5 litre box of table red and with a half bottle if some cheap brandy poured into a hole in the top when I discovered my winebax was half ice cube. Strong wine was truly almost a lethal concoction, if we are telling the truth. The first time it tried to kill me was on this clear, perfectt sub zero day with the shovel and the piles of angels wings.
I was sitting by the Franklin stove heating up and drying off with my second or third pint glass of Strong Wine. Alcohol historian that I am, I recalled reading that Porter beer was brewed strong so the guys that worked on the railroad all day could drink it for lunch and keep working. Those we the TRUE GLORY DAYS of the USA, before those damnable German Nazi womans group HEIDI's ruined drinking for us all. Housewives Eschewing Inebriates Drunks and Idiots was the radical feminist offshoot off another mothers group, and they were very radical and violent. It got so a self respecting drunk could not be sure that some crazed woman ninja on a ten-speed was not at this very moment jumping off her bike and onto his back for a quick choke out and then some truly nasty shit when he was unconscious in the van. Some truly horriffic shit. These HEIDIS were led by the reclusive Jane Smith, founding member of Anonymus, a renegade tennis pro and cannibis rights activist who has not been seen in public since the late 90's, but
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